A short ballad:
“Now let me tell you a story ‘bout a man named Ted.
Ted’s boss was an older ornery man whose name was Ned.
And then one day they was at a local pub,
And a girl walked up offerin’ a long back rub.”
So Ted accepted the offer for a backrub. She was beautiful, exotic, about 19 years old, from another country. All bushy-tailed and bright-eyed. Her name was Lo La.
Ted had a wife and children at home in Connecticut, of course, but Lo La didn’t ask too many questions.
Soon Ted and Lo La began texting regularly, and a relationship blossomed. Ted was a grown man and a veteran of many previous affairs, but this time he found himself slipping and falling in love with her.
After a time, Lo La started staying with him in a room that Ted rented when he had to stay in the city on business. They’d go out after work, maybe catch a movie or a Broadway show, and then end up at Ted’s favorite pub – the one where they first met. Lo La would rise early in the morning and whip up a meal for their breakfast. She preferred the cuisine of her homeland, and would make the most interesting and exotic breakfasts imaginable. The odors of the frying and baking would waft into the bedroom and Ted would awaken from the delicious smells. By the time he hit the breakfast table, his mouth would already be watering.
One day recently, Lo La and Ted were at the pub when Ted’s boss Ned dropped by. A flashy dresser, Ned was a gentleman’s clotheshorse: a three-piece suit, wing tip shoes shined to a mirror finish, pocket square matching his designer tie and a late-model fedora hat topping off the ensemble. Ned was a smooth operator, his movements spare but powerful, and Ted could see that Lo La couldn’t seem to take her eyes off him.
About a week later, Lo La texted Ted that her mother had fallen ill and she was going to go back to her homeland for a while. Although Ted missed her and the sumptuous breakfasts she prepared, he trusted her and told her to wish her mother well.
A month later, Ted was wrapping up a meeting with a client at a restaurant in Northern Manhattan, a place he had never visited before. As he exited the restaurant, he saw a man and a woman walking into a bar across the street. Maybe he was seeing things, but the woman sure looked like Lo La. On a hunch, he hung out across the street and waited. About an hour later, the couple emerged from the bar and walked around a corner and up the stairs to an apartment doorway. Just as they entered, Ted was able to get close enough to catch a glimpse of their faces … and it was Lo La and Ned! The sidewalk started spinning and Ted felt nauseous. He had to brace himself against a parked car to stop himself from falling onto the sidewalk.
That night, Ted felt positively ill. How long had this been going on, he wondered. And he had been working with Ned for years; how could he have done something like that, such an act of betrayal, stealing away the mistress behind his back. Unbelievable.
The next morning, Ted awoke early. There was a bad taste of black bile in his mouth, and his temper was darker than the far side of the moon. Snapping his smartphone into its case, Ted strode angrily toward the office, rode the elevator upstairs and burst into Ned’s office, unannounced.
“How could you do that to me,” Ted howled angrily. From the corner of his eye, he saw Lo La fluffing her hair in Ned’s private executive bathroom, attached to his office.
Lo La looked at Ted, turned her back and shut the bathroom door.
Ned, ensconced at his large desk with an amazing view of Manhattan stretching out in the picture window behind him, scowled. “Ted, old buddy,” he said in a grating voice, “We’ve worked together a long time. Maybe too long. You’re thinking with your pecker, not the head on your shoulders. But I can’t have you in the way between me and Lo La. So, you’re fired. I’d like you to give me your company ID card and corporate AMEX now. You’re not going to make me call security, are you?”
Ted was too shocked to reply, but he dug into his pockets and gave Ned the ID and the Amex.
“You best leave now,” Ned said, “and I’ll put a good word in with HR for you. I’ll say you went quietly and didn’t cause a fuss, so you’ll get a good severance if you keep your big mouth shut.”
So, there you have it. One executive career ruined, because Ted was thinking with the “wrong head” when he confronted his boss about stealing away his mistress.
His mistress. Right? So he lost his job, his career, the income to support his wife and children all because of some very bad judgment?
The takeaway?
1. It is too obvious to say, but just don’t have an affair. It almost always ends badly.
2. If you DO end up with an affair, and the boss takes a liking to your mistress, let him have her. Your career, livelihood and reputation are more important.
3. Pick your battles. You can lose this one and yet still win the war if you are careful.
4. Be careful how you treat people on your way up. If you treat them badly, they’ll be the ones watching as you plummet down from the executive heights.
NOTE: ALL names have been changed to protect the confidentiality of the people involved, even though Lo La sounds like one of those cabaret songs “… her name was Lo La, she was a show girl …”
“Now let me tell you a story ‘bout a man named Ted.
Ted’s boss was an older ornery man whose name was Ned.
And then one day they was at a local pub,
And a girl walked up offerin’ a long back rub.”
So Ted accepted the offer for a backrub. She was beautiful, exotic, about 19 years old, from another country. All bushy-tailed and bright-eyed. Her name was Lo La.
Ted had a wife and children at home in Connecticut, of course, but Lo La didn’t ask too many questions.
Soon Ted and Lo La began texting regularly, and a relationship blossomed. Ted was a grown man and a veteran of many previous affairs, but this time he found himself slipping and falling in love with her.
After a time, Lo La started staying with him in a room that Ted rented when he had to stay in the city on business. They’d go out after work, maybe catch a movie or a Broadway show, and then end up at Ted’s favorite pub – the one where they first met. Lo La would rise early in the morning and whip up a meal for their breakfast. She preferred the cuisine of her homeland, and would make the most interesting and exotic breakfasts imaginable. The odors of the frying and baking would waft into the bedroom and Ted would awaken from the delicious smells. By the time he hit the breakfast table, his mouth would already be watering.
One day recently, Lo La and Ted were at the pub when Ted’s boss Ned dropped by. A flashy dresser, Ned was a gentleman’s clotheshorse: a three-piece suit, wing tip shoes shined to a mirror finish, pocket square matching his designer tie and a late-model fedora hat topping off the ensemble. Ned was a smooth operator, his movements spare but powerful, and Ted could see that Lo La couldn’t seem to take her eyes off him.
About a week later, Lo La texted Ted that her mother had fallen ill and she was going to go back to her homeland for a while. Although Ted missed her and the sumptuous breakfasts she prepared, he trusted her and told her to wish her mother well.
A month later, Ted was wrapping up a meeting with a client at a restaurant in Northern Manhattan, a place he had never visited before. As he exited the restaurant, he saw a man and a woman walking into a bar across the street. Maybe he was seeing things, but the woman sure looked like Lo La. On a hunch, he hung out across the street and waited. About an hour later, the couple emerged from the bar and walked around a corner and up the stairs to an apartment doorway. Just as they entered, Ted was able to get close enough to catch a glimpse of their faces … and it was Lo La and Ned! The sidewalk started spinning and Ted felt nauseous. He had to brace himself against a parked car to stop himself from falling onto the sidewalk.
That night, Ted felt positively ill. How long had this been going on, he wondered. And he had been working with Ned for years; how could he have done something like that, such an act of betrayal, stealing away the mistress behind his back. Unbelievable.
The next morning, Ted awoke early. There was a bad taste of black bile in his mouth, and his temper was darker than the far side of the moon. Snapping his smartphone into its case, Ted strode angrily toward the office, rode the elevator upstairs and burst into Ned’s office, unannounced.
“How could you do that to me,” Ted howled angrily. From the corner of his eye, he saw Lo La fluffing her hair in Ned’s private executive bathroom, attached to his office.
Lo La looked at Ted, turned her back and shut the bathroom door.
Ned, ensconced at his large desk with an amazing view of Manhattan stretching out in the picture window behind him, scowled. “Ted, old buddy,” he said in a grating voice, “We’ve worked together a long time. Maybe too long. You’re thinking with your pecker, not the head on your shoulders. But I can’t have you in the way between me and Lo La. So, you’re fired. I’d like you to give me your company ID card and corporate AMEX now. You’re not going to make me call security, are you?”
Ted was too shocked to reply, but he dug into his pockets and gave Ned the ID and the Amex.
“You best leave now,” Ned said, “and I’ll put a good word in with HR for you. I’ll say you went quietly and didn’t cause a fuss, so you’ll get a good severance if you keep your big mouth shut.”
So, there you have it. One executive career ruined, because Ted was thinking with the “wrong head” when he confronted his boss about stealing away his mistress.
His mistress. Right? So he lost his job, his career, the income to support his wife and children all because of some very bad judgment?
The takeaway?
1. It is too obvious to say, but just don’t have an affair. It almost always ends badly.
2. If you DO end up with an affair, and the boss takes a liking to your mistress, let him have her. Your career, livelihood and reputation are more important.
3. Pick your battles. You can lose this one and yet still win the war if you are careful.
4. Be careful how you treat people on your way up. If you treat them badly, they’ll be the ones watching as you plummet down from the executive heights.
NOTE: ALL names have been changed to protect the confidentiality of the people involved, even though Lo La sounds like one of those cabaret songs “… her name was Lo La, she was a show girl …”